if you need me I'm the one curled up in a ball under the bed
I found the past couple weeks to be pretty overwhelming for many reasons, most of which were predictable when you have a busy life with three kids (traveling with an infant, sick kids, husband with a start-up), but one or two things in particular threw off my orbit and it began to feel like I'd bit off more than I could chew with this whole working-mom-of-three gig. I posted this photo earlier this week on Instagram with a caption that pretty much summed it up:
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“Toothbrushing with my babies, who both got haircuts today. Tomorrow I will clip their fingernails. Lately I feel like I can’t quite stay on top of things with three kids. Appointments, homework, travel, sickness, solid foods, laundry, weight checks…feels like I’m on the brink of chaos. Guess I just have to try to keep it together, one day at a time.“
I thought I should share it here too, just gotta keep it real. I still haven’t clipped their fingernails. I too only have 24 hours in my day just like everyone else and surprise surprise there’s really only so many plates I can keep in the air at any given time. It’s fine; the fact that I’m posting today is probably evidence of that, I’m not really on the floor in the fetal position. And honestly I knew it was going to be like this when I decided to have a third child, and it will probably be this way for a while yet, and that is going to have to be OK. But still. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t sometimes frustrating.
Occasionally when I meet people who have been following my blog for awhile they’ll say things like “I just wonder how you do it all” or “wow you’ve really been busy lately!” when I feel like I’ve been doing zilch. It’s a good reminder to me that people both see ALL of my collective work at the same time here AND see only a very small glimpse into my real life at any given time. So if I only ever share awesome projects! new fabric lines! and wowee zowee stuff, it can look (unintentionally) like I’ve somehow got my shit more together than anyone else. I’ve tried to blog about balancing work life and home life at various times in the past, so I hope I’ve been somewhat transparent about how I fit everything in, but my kids are young and things change all the time, so I’m constantly readjusting my priorities and how I spend my time. And sometimes it just feels crazy no matter how hard I try.
Also: the feeling of “I just can’t keep it together” isn’t exactly unique to this phase of my life; it has been something I’ve felt on and off all of my life, it’s just that now instead of comparing myself to those annoying classmates in high school who seemed to be good at everything and feeling a sense of despair, or getting frustrated when I bounced a check or forgot to pay my bills back when I was first working after college, it’s now all about figuring out what things I need to focus on and what things to let slide. Like for instance right now there are three little people who need most of my attention most of the time, so that’s really priority numero uno. Jess runs the MBR show work-wise, just in case you were wondering, and THANK GOODNESS for that because otherwise I would really go off the deep end. I’m lucky to have someone so capable.
Anyway, it’s no bigs, just wanted to share. So many of you are also “in the trenches” — whatever that may mean for you — and I reckon many of you know how that feels. I hope you have a fun and relaxing weekend!!!